19 Historical Events Explained Poorly

Carly Tennes Published 04/18/2024 in Funny

Despite all the years we spent in school memorizing dates, conquests and rhymes to help us recall which year Christopher Columbus sailed the ocean blue, history can, in fact, be simplified. This does, however, come with its own set of caveats, ones the historians of Reddit know very, very well.

From Abraham Lincoln's bad night at the theater to a London baker's quest to take a nap, here are 20 poorly-explained historical events.

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1. Adolf Hitler's Dictatorship
“Aspiring artist and immigrant gets elected chancellor and achieves his wildest dreams.”
2. Rosa Parks and the Civil Rights Movement
“A woman really, REALLY wants a specific seat on the bus.”
3. The Bombing Of Hiroshima
“A gay dropped a little boy on top of a city, and it made an awful mess.”
4. The Great Emu War
“Giant birds take advantage of poor fencing, eat the food within it, and continue to multiply; they manage to thwart humans who get mad about it.”
5. D-Day
“Normandy and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad D-Day.”
6. The Invention Of Penicillin
“Some dude grew a fungus on his own dish and f—king cured everyone”
7. The Assassination of Abraham Lincoln
“Lincoln's one bad night at the theatre.”
8. The American Revolution
“A time where America had some daddy issues.”
9. The Great Fire of London
“Guy falls asleep while baking. London gets VERY hot.”
10. The Chicxulub Asteroid Impact
“Dinosaurs got dunked on by a space rock.”
11. The Ides Of March
“Julius Caesar gets poked by his best friends.”
12. The Boston Tea Party
“America stuck it to Britain by making the Boston Harbor into a giant glass of tea.”
13. The Trojan Horse
“The city of Troy gets a beautiful present from the people they fought for years. Granted that's not perhaps that historical, but it should be good enough for this, no?”
14. The Black Plague
“Rats help solve overpopulation.”
15. World War I
“Some guy got killed, and then a few million other guys got killed as a result.”
16. Genghis Khan’s Conquests
“One man's conquest to have the most children ever.”
17. September 11 Attacks
“A group of aspiring pilots worked together on a months long plan to remodel New York City”
18. The Writing Of The Declaration of Independence
“A country gets mad about having to pay extra for some tea and stamps so they write a break up letter to Britain”
19. The Cold War
“Russia tried to make a few little silos and the US got scared and said, you're moving back to the East with your missiles impaired.”

1. Adolf Hitler's Dictatorship
“Aspiring artist and immigrant gets elected chancellor and achieves his wildest dreams.”
2. Rosa Parks and the Civil Rights Movement
“A woman really, REALLY wants a specific seat on the bus.”
3. The Bombing Of Hiroshima
“A gay dropped a little boy on top of a city, and it made an awful mess.”
4. The Great Emu War
“Giant birds take advantage of poor fencing, eat the food within it, and continue to multiply; they manage to thwart humans who get mad about it.”
5. D-Day
“Normandy and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad D-Day.”
6. The Invention Of Penicillin
“Some dude grew a fungus on his own dish and f—king cured everyone”
7. The Assassination of Abraham Lincoln
“Lincoln's one bad night at the theatre.”
8. The American Revolution
“A time where America had some daddy issues.”
9. The Great Fire of London
“Guy falls asleep while baking. London gets VERY hot.”
10. The Chicxulub Asteroid Impact
“Dinosaurs got dunked on by a space rock.”
11. The Ides Of March
“Julius Caesar gets poked by his best friends.”
12. The Boston Tea Party
“America stuck it to Britain by making the Boston Harbor into a giant glass of tea.”
13. The Trojan Horse
“The city of Troy gets a beautiful present from the people they fought for years. Granted that's not perhaps that historical, but it should be good enough for this, no?”
14. The Black Plague
“Rats help solve overpopulation.”
15. World War I
“Some guy got killed, and then a few million other guys got killed as a result.”
16. Genghis Khan’s Conquests
“One man's conquest to have the most children ever.”
17. September 11 Attacks
“A group of aspiring pilots worked together on a months long plan to remodel New York City”
18. The Writing Of The Declaration of Independence
“A country gets mad about having to pay extra for some tea and stamps so they write a break up letter to Britain”
19. The Cold War
“Russia tried to make a few little silos and the US got scared and said, you're moving back to the East with your missiles impaired.”

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Adolf Hitler's Dictatorship
“Aspiring artist and immigrant gets elected chancellor and achieves his wildest dreams.”

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1. Adolf Hitler's Dictatorship “Aspiring artist and immigrant gets elected chancellor and achieves his wildest dreams.”

2. Rosa Parks and the Civil Rights Movement “A woman really, REALLY wants a specific seat on the bus.”

3. The Bombing Of Hiroshima “A gay dropped a little boy on top of a city, and it made an awful mess.”

4. The Great Emu War “Giant birds take advantage of poor fencing, eat the food within it, and continue to multiply; they manage to thwart humans who get mad about it.”

5. D-Day “Normandy and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad D-Day.”

6. The Invention Of Penicillin “Some dude grew a fungus on his own dish and f—king cured everyone”

7. The Assassination of Abraham Lincoln “Lincoln's one bad night at the theatre.”

8. The American Revolution “A time where America had some daddy issues.”

9. The Great Fire of London “Guy falls asleep while baking. London gets VERY hot.”

10. The Chicxulub Asteroid Impact “Dinosaurs got dunked on by a space rock.”

11. The Ides Of March “Julius Caesar gets poked by his best friends.”

12. The Boston Tea Party “America stuck it to Britain by making the Boston Harbor into a giant glass of tea.”

13. The Trojan Horse “The city of Troy gets a beautiful present from the people they fought for years. Granted that's not perhaps that historical, but it should be good enough for this, no?”

14. The Black Plague “Rats help solve overpopulation.”

15. World War I “Some guy got killed, and then a few million other guys got killed as a result.”

16. Genghis Khan’s Conquests “One man's conquest to have the most children ever.”

17. September 11 Attacks “A group of aspiring pilots worked together on a months long plan to remodel New York City”

18. The Writing Of The Declaration of Independence “A country gets mad about having to pay extra for some tea and stamps so they write a break up letter to Britain”

19. The Cold War “Russia tried to make a few little silos and the US got scared and said, you're moving back to the East with your missiles impaired.”

1. Adolf Hitler's Dictatorship

2. Rosa Parks and the Civil Rights Movement

3. The Bombing Of Hiroshima

4. The Great Emu War

5. D-Day

6. The Invention Of Penicillin

7. The Assassination of Abraham Lincoln

8. The American Revolution

9. The Great Fire of London

10. The Chicxulub Asteroid Impact

11. The Ides Of March

12. The Boston Tea Party

13. The Trojan Horse

14. The Black Plague

15. World War I

16. Genghis Khan’s Conquests

17. September 11 Attacks

18. The Writing Of The Declaration of Independence

19. The Cold War

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eBaum's Picks

1. Adolf Hitler's Dictatorship
“Aspiring artist and immigrant gets elected chancellor and achieves his wildest dreams.”

2. Rosa Parks and the Civil Rights Movement
“A woman really, REALLY wants a specific seat on the bus.”

3. The Bombing Of Hiroshima
“A gay dropped a little boy on top of a city, and it made an awful mess.”

4. The Great Emu War
“Giant birds take advantage of poor fencing, eat the food within it, and continue to multiply; they manage to thwart humans who get mad about it.”

5. D-Day
“Normandy and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad D-Day.”

6. The Invention Of Penicillin
“Some dude grew a fungus on his own dish and f—king cured everyone”

7. The Assassination of Abraham Lincoln
“Lincoln's one bad night at the theatre.”

8. The American Revolution
“A time where America had some daddy issues.”

9. The Great Fire of London
“Guy falls asleep while baking. London gets VERY hot.”

10. The Chicxulub Asteroid Impact
“Dinosaurs got dunked on by a space rock.”

11. The Ides Of March
“Julius Caesar gets poked by his best friends.”

12. The Boston Tea Party
“America stuck it to Britain by making the Boston Harbor into a giant glass of tea.”

13. The Trojan Horse
“The city of Troy gets a beautiful present from the people they fought for years. Granted that's not perhaps that historical, but it should be good enough for this, no?”

14. The Black Plague
“Rats help solve overpopulation.”

15. World War I
“Some guy got killed, and then a few million other guys got killed as a result.”

16. Genghis Khan’s Conquests
“One man's conquest to have the most children ever.”

17. September 11 Attacks
“A group of aspiring pilots worked together on a months long plan to remodel New York City”

18. The Writing Of The Declaration of Independence
“A country gets mad about having to pay extra for some tea and stamps so they write a break up letter to Britain”

19. The Cold War
“Russia tried to make a few little silos and the US got scared and said, you're moving back to the East with your missiles impaired.”